Advice On What Really Matters

posted on 04/03/2009

I have noticed in my few years here on planet Earth that we just take people for granted, appreciate things that really don't matter and ignore those people who need the most from us. We just don't think that our actions really mean as much as they really do.

I've noticed that as Americans we strive to give our children or ourselves "things". These things that we strive to acquire; once we have them we are no longer satisfied, and we want something else or something better. An example would be the latest, greatest computer that just came out. We rush out to buy it at top dollar knowing that in a couple of months, the price will drop considerably and a new model will replace it. Still, we buy the computer on credit. Use it for a couple of weeks and it gets slower than it was when we bought it. Now, we get buyers remorse and can't wait til we pay it off at twice what it originally cost so we can get a better model than our friend down the street got.

We struggle all our lives to acquire things that we will never be satisfied with. Homes, cars, TVs, clothes and more. We spend our lives trying to live the American dream by spending more each year than we make, trying to outdo our friends and neighbors, and trying to impress people who don't mean a thing to us.

Our children are sponges and they soak up everything they see us do. They grow up to be just as materialistic as their parents and the cycle continues. We work all our lives wanting to give our kids what we didn't have.

The sad reality is what kids really want is to spend time with us. To know and feel that they are loved. Kids would rather you be home to have dinner with them than at work trying to pay off "things" they didn't care about in the first place and things that as soon as you get them, they are no longer satisfied with. You do the same thing. You spend hours drooling over that flat screen TV and no sooner than you buy it and set it up; the first commercial you see is for a newer better model. Now, sadly, you are no longer happy with the new flat screen TV (or computer, car, stereo, shoes, dress, cell phone, etc).

Our children want attention. They want quality time with their family members. They need to know that they are a part of what makes a family great. They want parents to keep the commitment they made to each other at the alter. Children did not ask to come into this world, but they surely deserve the right once they are here to be treated like the gift they are. I could go on, but if you examine your heart, you could add more to this by thinking about changes you can make to put your children and family first.

I'll leave with how parents can do better... I have noticed at least a hundred times in my life (whether it be in reality or on TV). If a child spills a cup of anything on the floor and messes up the rug. I've seen parents yell and rant and rave at how clumsy and often stupid a child is for making the mistake. Change the venue and it's you and your friends or your in-laws. In the same situation you would go out of your way to get it cleaned up yourself while saying, "it's okay, it's alright, I'll just get it cleaned up for you", or something to that effect where you are the one taking responsibility.

A child is clumsy and you would expect a child to make mistakes like that. You should console the child and make the child know that all is well and that you can clean it up. Let the child feel he/she is more important than your rug. An adult who isn't supposed to be clumsy is the one you should be yelling at, IF yelling is necessary at all.

Cherish your children like some worship their cars. Be attentive to your family the way some are with strangers on the job. Love being a family the way some love being at work. Feed your kids healthy foods. less junk food and spend time at the kitchen table together the way some do at a bar or at the Super Bowl.