Advice On: Boating -- Asking People To Share In Expenses
posted on 06/25/2009
There are two inter-related questions regarding reciprocity and invitations. The first question is, "Who is invited?" With respect to this request, who are the "friends"? I see the following possibilities: First, if these are close friends it is absolutely fine to raise the question of sharing responsibilities for getting refreshments, especially if it leaves the boat owner free to tend to the boating experience. Simply ask, "Could you help me make the day by picking up xyz?" If you are unsure of the guest's ability to pay for the items, then add, "Here's some cash for the errand," so it is up to the friend to say, "No, I've got it," if the friend can do that.
Second, if these "friends" are not peers, it changes the dynamics. Examples include if these are students and you are a professor, or employees and you are the employer. Then you must think differently about your role as the host. It is still possible to ask the group to bring refreshments, but you must ask even-handedly: Perhaps the professor tells the advisees group, "I'd like to invite everyone out on my boat next weekend. Would you all divide up bringing the refreshments?" Make sure that if any students are under age there is no alcohol involved. The employer or manager is in a trickier position, especially if there is an obvious pay differential. On the other hand, if this is "professional entertainment" it is tax deductible.
Third, if the "friends" include family and their friends, the nature of the relationships must be considered. Then ask for help from the people with whom you are most comfortable. And do not ask your cousin's new girlfriend on the heels of his divorce! Do not count on her -- or others you know not-so-well -- being there for the sake of liking a day of boating.
The other question is whether you have reciprocity with these friends by way of other gifts or occasions. If not, by all means, ask them to help with refreshments, especially if they come aboard frequently. On the other hand, if they give you significant holiday gifts, invite you to their ski chalets in winter, help you out with projects on the property or on board, or are offering you pick of the litter when their golden retriever has pups, etc., then you are even.
Comment on this article
You must be logged in to post comments.
Previous Comments