Advice On How To Deal With Your Child's Teachers

by justapixel

posted on 08/01/2009

Your child will not make it through elementary and middle school without having a teacher they don't like, or one who seems to grade unfairly. As a parent, you will want to discuss these issues with the teacher. There is a way to do it effectively so you will get results that satisfy all parties.

Your child may tell you that something happened in class or that the teacher said something inappropriate. Listen to your child with sympathy, but keep in mind that they are merely children. Studies show that children from elementary to high school are bad at reading facial expressions and interpreting information. So, keep their age in mind when listening to their story.

If you decide that something should be addressed with the teacher, stay calm. Contact the teacher by their preferred method (email or phone). Most teachers will respond quicker via email but not all. Explain the situation calmly from your child's perspective and then ask for their interpretation.

Listen to what the teacher has to say. Often, there is a simple misunderstanding that can be cleared up. If the response is not satisfactory, and you feel this is something that needs to be escalated, call the Principal for an appointment. Don't call a Principal without discussing your situation with a teacher first, as you will be directed back to the teacher. An exception to this would be a claim of physical violence.

The principal may ask you to come in for a meeting. First, keep in mind that the act of walking into a school can bring back memories, both good and bad. One might remember playing hopscotch with friends or hanging out at the cool kids lunch table; others might remember being called to the Principal's office or being teased. When going in to solve a dispute, negative emotions may come flooding back. The first step is to recognize the emotional pulls entering a school has on you and to realize that your anxiousness comes from within.

Be calm during the meeting, explain your problem and what you want done about it. Keep in mind, the Principal is a very busy person and he will likely want to do an investigation before getting back to you. If the situation involves another student, know that the teacher and Principal must keep confidentiality and will not be able to tell you anything about the other child. Also, you should know that Principal's cannot legally change a grade. The grades teachers keep are a legal document and only the teacher can change it.

School personnel are highly caring people who want the best for children. Of course, misunderstandings and problems happen in all relationships, and the best way to clear it up is remain calm, be patient and keep your perspective.

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