Advice On: Flirting For Women By A Guy - Get The Guy You Want
posted on 08/08/2009
Well the type of flirting you should do depends on the qualities possessed by each party. For the sake of this advice, I'll imagine you and this guy have about equally 'average looks' meaning you both are not fat yet you both are not beautiful and are hopefully 30 or younger because I'm 22 and I don't date too many people over 30 :p
First off though, I want to emphasize frankly how shallow men can be about a woman's looks. What this means basically is if you are fat and you are interested in a slimmer guy; high odds are that no amount of flirting you engage in will put off the fact in his mind that you are fat and thus less socially valuable to him in the eyes of his friends.
This being said, if you have a generally good build and a so-so face, most guys can be willing to work with that because there is some aspect of your physical appearance they can focus on while disregarding other physical flaws. An example of this is if you are fat yet have large breasts; no amount of fat can deter a guy from liking large breasts yet your large breasts may not be enough to offset his disgust over your fat so that he may like LIKE you. In cases like this where you have an imbalanced physical appearance with one part of you hot and another part not; I could guarantee you hook up status with most guys but not necessarily continued commitment to end up liking you. Of course though you could meet Prince Charming who looks past all your physical flaws; but lets face it, that's rare in America today.
Taking all this into account, here is the actual advice you asked for given your both equal average attractiveness.
- Make eye contact and smile at him showing him those big pearly whites, on more than one occasion.
- TOUCH his arm when you're talking to him, either in an intense moment of conversation or laughing at something he or you just said. This is key; most guys notice the arm touch. Just make sure it's natural and not a forced one.
- Make sure your hug is a GOOD hug. Hugs are a dime a dozen between friends but if your hug is unusually happy to see him, he'll get the idea.
- Have your friends go out with his friends to a movie and sit by him. I've met some of the coolest girls ever over movie whispers; just make sure it's a movie he doesn't care about seeing too much otherwise you'll just annoy him.
- Compliment him - not an awkward comment that isn't natural; only say it if you really mean it and it can be pretty much about anything i.e. his physical appearance or about a choice he's just made be it clothes, food, some stupid video game he just bought or his fat dog etc.
- Remember something little he mentioned in casual conversation and bring it up again somehow. He'll notice if he isn't a retard.
- Text him 'am I gonna see your cute face tonight?' if you happen to be going to the same social function or have just been hanging out 'as friends' and maybe want to up the ante on the friendship now. 'Hey you...' is a great preface to anything you could be saying in a text. Of course, it's just as effective to say those words to his face as well.
- Be just be a wee-bit aggressive in your pursuit. Be confident in what you say and who you are. Self-perception is key to getting someone to like you because people treat you by seeing how you treat yourself. If you have a self-apologetic attitude where you're saying sorry all the time for every little thing; people will treat you like shit because they got the cue from you that it was ok to do so in the first place. In general, make sure your interest is shown without looking DESPERATE.
- Just whatever you do, don't overwhelm him with attention unless you feel there is chemistry b/w the two of you.
Remember, it's not WHAT you say but HOW you say it. If you've ever learned anything from arguing with your parents, it's that the argument wasn't over what you said but how you said it i.e. ATTITUDE and that lesson needs to be applied to every social setting imaginable, especially flirting. There are very few things you could say with the tone of a boring professor that would make him interested in you. It's the spirit of your genuine interest in whatever he's saying that will tip him off as to why you've been talking to him so much.
Another important aspect is the social status of your guy. If he is shy, you probably need to flirt more to assure him of your interest in him so that he takes the emotional risk to talk to you more or go in for the kiss. Remember for shy guys, rejection is devastating so be sensitive to that time when he may be waiting for the right moment to say a certain something or do a certain thing like kiss you for the first time. Don't make it hard for shy guys; they give up easily.
Also, I want to add the FACT that if you are hot you can basically wink at a guy and he'll think you want to have sex with him. Obviously this depends on the guy; but I know I speak for most men here when I say that we fantasize about beautiful women EVERY day and long for the day when a beautiful woman might take an interest in our otherwise dull lives. So if you're hot, just say 'hi' and that should be enough to get his brain running in circles :)
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Previous Comments
helplessfreshman14 says:
(92d 5h 10min ago)
this is actually some good advice. i understand "most of it" but on the physical appearance part, well thats where i get confused. so, a guy will not like you at all if you are uglier than.. him??
peterkurtson says:
(90d 7h 24min ago)
not necessarily. It really comes down to personal preference but I can say that in general men don't generally trade down for someone uglier or fatter than them. Of course I've seen plenty of exceptions like super nerdy skinny white guys having really fat, relationship dominant girlfriends. Although he's way skinnier than her, he simply can't do any better and thus gives in fooling himself into thinking he 'likes' her personality. Or maybe he really does, I don't know I'm not him but what I do know is that if you are fat or ugly and want a guy more attractive than yourself; you simply have to BELIEVE that you can have him and you will. Humans in general are very attracted to confidence, especially women to confident men. So if you're a girl looking to trade up you need to be super confident about whatever it is the hell you're talking about be it power rangers or some new shampoo you bought. If you like it enough and are enthusiastic (w/out being overzealous) about sharing your thought, no matter how stupid it is, anyone will like you, especially guys.
The one thing to remember when being 'super confident' is realizing that while confidence in a man is attractive; the same confidence in a woman can be seen as bitchy. Most bitchy girls I know just complain a lot, so stay away from complaining while being confident in what you say and you should be fine :)
The best advice I've ever heard about social situations comes from Dr. Seuss - Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
nathie_ says:
(82d 23h 25min ago)
This is well spoken advice.
You actually helped me on somethings i wanted to know.
Keep up the advice.