Advice On Online Dating

by pzero24

posted on 08/17/2009

Introduction

Online dating has become more and more popular with computers being used more. People use online dating because either they can't find that special someone around their area, they are too scared to approach someone in person, or they just want to extend their scope of meeting people. There are many great advantages to online dating, with the few disadvantages as well. I have tried the online dating thing so I will share with you my experiences with it, the ways to make it work, and what not to do.

Disadvantages

Since a lot of people only talk about the disadvantages to online dating, I will get that out of the way first. Now of course many people are afraid that the person they are talking to online aren't really who they say they are. If you are not careful, that 22 year old blonde that you met on a dating website could really be a 40 year old lonely man looking for an innocent victim. There are also people who have no intentions of meeting the person. They talk to someone just to get their hopes up and then either never go through with plans or disappear completely, leaving the other person heartbroken. If you are safe and cautious then you should be fine in the online dating world.

Find the Right Person

When you decide to date online, many peole you talk to might seem like the right one for you. That is a common mistake people make. The best thing to do is make yourself hard to get just like in real life and if someone really likes you then they will come to you. Don't open yourself up to them right away, and if they respect you enough to take their time, then it is worth it to keep going. It is easy to put on a front online because it is only words, so you have to learn to read between the lines. Some guys might talk about things sexually and then just say they are kidding every time. In most cases they really are not, but say it to make you think they are. Also they might ask you questions you think are too personal. Do not answer them, but instead let him/her wait to find out the answers. A respectful person will wait, if not, it is just another person and move on.

Making It Work

Online dating is much different than talking in person. Many online daters are long distance relationships, so they never really get to see or get close to each other. The chances of cheating become a lot greater since people do have needs. The best way to make it work is not to get your hopes up. Stay in the relationship with the mindset that it won't last. If it does, that is wonderful, but if it doesn't, you are not nearly as heartbroken. Also, do not smother the person. Online dating can cause jealousy really quickly because of the long distance, making one person call the other one wonder where he/she is, or texting them constantly. Pretend your significant other is just an extremely close friend. Have fun, don't get jealous, and avoid fights where possible. It is easier to stop fights in online dating. Local dating means they can go to your house and fight with you. Online dating however, you can just stop texting or calling the person for a day or two and let things settle down, thus avoiding the fight altogether. Do not push the person into meeting you or doing anything else until they are ready. A lot of people are doing the online dating scene because they are unsure of themselves and others. They want to be really careful and take things slow, so if you push something on them, it might turn them off to you. Take your time and eventually you will be rewarded.

The Meeting

There are not very many people who do not feel nervous about meeting someone from the online world. Are they who they say they are? Will they like you for the real you? Those are common questions that will cross your mind before meeting them. The best way to do it is to tell them to go to your local mall or fast food place with his/her friend and bring your friend. Make the first time a group thing to ease the nervousness. If the person isn't who they say they are, they will be less likely to do anything while your friend is there. After the first meeting, then you can start dating the person alone and have a good time. If it doesn't work, then as long as you followed my advice and didn't keep your hopes up then you shouldn't have a major heartbreak.

Smart Dating Sites

One big mistake that you should not make is paying for any dating service. While they might help you by finding possible matches, it is nothing that you can not do on your own. There are a lot of site that drag you in by offering a free personality interview to find out about you but then charge you for actually finding matches based on the information they compile. The best place to start is a free chatroom. There are thousands of them out there for all types of people. It might take you a little while to find a chatroom you are comfortable with, but once you find one then you'll find pretty quick results.

I just hope everyone makes sure they are careful and smart when they decide to date online and I wish you all the best. I am glad to help anyone with any other problems when it comes to online dating because I did it for awhile during my teenage years.

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