Advice On Dating: Preventing The Hurt

by DemonicBLT

posted on 08/22/2009

I know I've written an article about what women want in a relationship, and in that article I remember writing that women don't like pessimistic boyfriends. And I'm sure the same applies to men and their girlfriends. However, I would like to talk about dating, and why expecting the relationship to fail off the bat can some times lessen heartbreak (if god forbid you actually fail), and make the relationship fall in more smoothly.

Now, when I say "Fall in more smoothly" I mean that it progresses in a way that you can satisfy your relationship needs and obligations, without going too fast and/or too slow. I guess now would be a good time to clarify. Expecting to fail isn't the right term, but low expectations is more correct than a failure expectation. It is, in my experience, that about the time you think you're relationship will last forever, you will marry your significant other (otherwise known as being naive at my age), and they will be there for you always, is when they kick you to the curb. Until the ring gets involved I would always assume that your relationship is on the verge. It makes things simpler.

Women tend to to this more then men, and you can call me on the generalization, but when a relationship gets started, they are riding high. They feel like he's the one, he completes me, he won't dump me, etc. And sometimes, that may be right. But, there's always the possibility that the proverbial "shit" will hit that proverbial fan and when that comes, I've noticed, these women who ride high on relationships will come crashing down and get hurt. I guess when I say "expect failure" or "low expectations" I don't say that because I'm trying to be negative, more that I say that to convey to you, the reader, a method for avoiding pain and heartbreak in a relationship. As we all know, break ups suck but if you're expecting it, or at least not expecting the relationship to last forever (I.e being naive), then it will lessen the hurt, which is better than getting the full blown smack to the face that is an unexpected break up.

As for, and I know it's a little random and out of place but as for the "fall in more smoothly" I think I owe an explanation. See most guys don't like it when women say "I love you" at the very start of a relationship. It takes time and if you expect the relationship to end every day or not last long, then you can give the relationship the time it needs to get to that point. And again, if it fails before then, well at least you didn't commit to them by uttering those three little words.

Though, of course, this is just one of many ways to prevent the heartbreak and I am, of course, not always right. Good luck though.

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