Advice On What To Do If You're Afraid You Might Have Herpes

by hflower

posted on 09/01/2009

Most of us have been there. It's the day after. You're still vaguely nauseous and your head is pounding. You're not usually into one night stands, but you had one too many the night before and went home with that stranger across the bar that just seemed more and more attractive and charming as the night wore on. Now as your driving home, you're not sure but you feel a little discomfort down in your pubic area. Is that an itching sensation or does it feel more like a burning? Did your overnight companion just rub a little too hard and scratch you in a way that is still making you uncomfortable. And then, of course, your train of thought leads you to the inevitable destination: Did you get herpes from your little encounter?

Herpes gets so much press these days that you might call the Britney Spears of STD's. (And it too is sometimes more comfortable without underwear.) Because condoms and other forms of birth control do not prevent the transmission of the herpes virus and because it is so common that we will often see commercials for medicines that help "control the outbreaks" of herpes, it is often our first worries after a night of indulgence with a new partner. The fear of the contracting herpes is certainly well founded. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) as many as 1 in 5 men and 1 and 4 women have the herpes virus. Most of those who do have the virus are carriers who do not have any symptoms. So they unknowingly spread the virus to their sex partners. (If you want to know more about the wide world herpes and other venereal diseases the CDC web site and a simple web search will give you a great deal of information to go on.

The good news about herpes in particular is that it is not fatal (except maybe to some of your na�¯ve notions about sex) and that it can be managed. The fact that it is so common helps as well because it creates a certain sense of community, even if it is the sort of community you may not have wanted to be a part of before. (There are herpes support groups which will help you deal with the social stigmas associated with herpes and even a dating site-www.herpes-date.com. The bad news is that if you fear you may herpes, you may want to also check yourself out for other venereal diseases as well. Chlamydia and gonorrhea for example can also be contracted via sex, and of course, so can HIV/AIDS. So what should you do?

1. If you notice any of the symptoms associated with herpes (typically pimple-like sores during the first outbreak) you should make an appointment to get yourself tested. While at your local planned parenthood you will want to get yourself tested for other STDs as well. It is inexpensive, confidential and relatively pain free. Though the wait to find the results can be unnerving for some.

2. As a general rule, you want to get yourself tested before you become sexually active with a new partner and you should encourage your partner to do the same. That way you both have some sense of what you are getting into before hand. (It is possible to date someone with an STD, have sexual relations with them and remain disease free, but it takes planning, communication and patience. In short, you must both act like mature adults.)

3. You may also want to follow the rule of 6's. No sex until it has been six weeks since either you or your new sex partner's last sex partner. No sex until six weeks of being exclusively dating your partner (until you've gotten somewhat to know them). And no unprotected sex until six months of exclusivity. (By this point you should have some sense of whether you can trust your partner to be truthful with you.) This rule will not protect you completely from STDs but you may be able to lower your risk by following it.

Finally, if you feel an uncomfortable itch after your first time having sex with someone new, it is probably not herpes or anything else. We often get paranoid about such matters. With a clear plan of action, however, you can lower your anxiety and try to enjoy your sex life as a single.

For more information check out the CDC website and do your own research.


Disclaimer: Flowergirl (hflower) is not a medical doctor or nurse, has not attended medical school, or even played a doctor on TV. This article should not be used in the place of traditional medical advice from actual doctors. This information in this article was taken from information on the CDC website and other respectable sites. The suggestions for testing were gleaned from common health practices held by responsible sexually active youths.

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