Advice On Loveletters
posted on 09/22/2009
When there is a time in your relationship when nothing seems to be going right and you and your partner are at an emotional distance from each other, sometimes the remedy for this situation calls for the Love Letter Technique.
Writing a love letter to your partner enables you release those bottled up feelings that you have inside of you and the emotions that you have pushed aside. There are times when you are unable to tell your partner how you truly feel, because it is not the right time or other things got in the way. So you hold it in and later on you forget about it because of other distractions and so it ends up never being addressed. These feelings end up thrown on the back burner, one on top of the either and it keeps building.
The purpose of a love letter is to release all of the negative feelings that are preventing you from sharing the love that you feel deep inside and it helps to resolve whatever emotions are blocking love.
A love letter has five separate parts and you must continue the letter through all five levels. Start with the first level and continue on to the next. Do not stop and edit your letter. Just keep writing whatever you feel and let you be able to feel safe to release those emotions. Don't hold back or be apprehensive about letting go all of your emotions.
1. Level One: Anger and Blame
I don't like it when ……………
I hate it when ……………..
I'm angry …………….
I'm tired of ……………….
I resent ………………….
You act like ……………….
How do you think I feel when ……..
I get upset ……………
I'm sick of … ……………..
I need …………………
I want …………………..
2. Level Two: Hurt and Sadness
I feel sad when …………..
I feel sad because ……………….
It hurts when ………………..
I feel hurt because ………………
The reason I feel hurt is …………
I feel disappointed that …………..
It makes me sad to think ……………
I need …………….
I want ………….....
3. Level Three: Fear and Insecurity
I feel afraid ……………..
I'm afraid that ……………..
I'm afraid you ……………
I'm afraid I …………………
I feel scared …………….
I feel scared because ……………
I feel fearful …………..
I need …………….
I want ………………..
4. Level four: Guilt and Responsibility
I'm sorry ……………..
I'm sorry that ………………
I'm sorry for …………………
I'm sorry because …………….
Please forgive me for ……………..
I feel guilty ……………
I feel guilty that ……………….
I feel guilty because ……………..
I didn't mean to ………………
I'm sorry ………………….
I wish …………………
I should …………………..
I need …………………
I want ………………
5. Level Five: Love, Forgiveness, and Understanding
I love …………………
I love you for ………………………
I love that …………………..
I love you because ………………
I think you are …………..
I love when ……………
You give me ……………..
I love ……………..
I appreciate ………………
I appreciate that …………………..
You really are …………….
I'm so grateful that ………………
Thank you …………………
Thank you for ………………….
I need you to ……………..
I support you ………………..
I forgive you for ………………..
I understand that …………….
I need ……………….
I want ………………..
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